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My Wish

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Tomorrow is my birthday…a big one, but not a milestone. When I blow out my birthday candles, I will have so many wishes but the greatest is a wish for a cure for Type 1 and food allergies.

Last night, KC and I watched the movie “Letters to God” –a heartwrenching story of a young boy, dying of cancer, who encourages prayer by writing letters to God.  Painful to watch, especially in light of the death of Trey Erwin, the son of a friend of a friend, who lost his battle with pancreatic cancer this past Thursday.  Both the boy in the movie and Trey have shown a strength of faith that is truly awe-inspiring.  I try to have such faith.  But I must admit, I am still angry.  Yeah, I know, KC “only” has Type 1–” it could be worse.”  I am angry that ANY disease can kill a child, slowly or quickly.  No parent should have to bury a child.  I know I have to have faith that God has a purpose for KC–and her T1 is part of the purpose.  I accept that…I guess I still struggle with my purpose.

Four years ago, I was putting together a graduation video for the daughter of a friend–we used the song “My Wish” by Rascall Flatts.  I cried then…crying for the beauty of possibility.  Possibility–the beauty of the word struck me last night as I watched the credits of “Letters to God”  Possibility Productions.  The movie used “My Wish” as part of the soundtrack….I cried again.  This time because I realize that my wish for KC that ” her dreams stay big, and her worries stay small” has already been broken. She will always have the worry of her disease–and it isn’t a small worry.  When she treats it as a small worry, as she did this morning when she forgot to Bolus her breakfast, it can quickly become a huge worry.  I hate that her 12 year-old life already has such a big worry.  But as I reread these lyrics, I see that maybe my purpose is defined there….so that she  knows somebody loves her and wants the same things too.  Someone to support her every dream and tell her she can do it.

So for both my sweet children, my birthday wish this year and every year:

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow

And each road leads you where you want to go

And if you’re faced with the choice and you have to choose

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed

I hope you keep on walkin’ ‘til you find the window

If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile

But more than anything, more than anything
My wish for you

Is that this life becomes all that you want it to

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small

You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to

I hope you know somebody loves you

And wants the same things too

Yeah, this is my wish
I hope you never look back but you never forget

All the ones who love you and the place you left

I hope you always forgive and you never regret

And you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you’d find God’s grace in every mistake

And always give more than you take

But more than anything, yeah more than anything
My wish for you

Is that this life becomes all that you want it to

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small

You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to

I hope you know somebody loves you

And wants the same things too

Read more: RASCAL FLATTS – MY WISH LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/my-wish-lyrics-rascal-flatts.html#ixzz208mxmhbp
Copied from MetroLyrics.com

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About kcandcompany

Mother of two...one with food allergy and one with Type 1 diabetes.

3 responses »

  1. Robin, It was great to be able to read about your love, and worries over Kate. I am the same way. I know what your going through. Emily was Dx on May 24th 2010 just 2 days after her 6th birthday. She had been to a swim party that weekend before and came down with a yeast infection. I took her to dr. to get cured and was blown away by what they found. Yeap Diabetes. I was devastated. Actually, I never knew of anyone that had it except my grandmotherd, but she had Type 2 and she had lost eyesight and half of one leg. This was all I could think about. The dr. came in and told me that she had admitted Emily to the jeff Gordon’s Children Hopsital in Concord and that I had to go straight there, I couldn’t even go home to get suitcases. I felt like an ambulance driver that day. I was all alone with her. Husband at work, etc. She sat in the back seat of sourse and I was balling in the front. But she didn’t know.

    I have struggled for sometime now, but its gotten alot easier. She just turned in her Medtronics demo pump and will be receiving hers sometime within the next week. She loved it. The only thing she didn’t like was taking it off with the “sticking stuff”. She learned to use it also.

    I also worry about everything, sleepovers, which i was like you, i picked her up before bedtime. I felt like the worse mother in the world. I let her eat what she wants in moderation because she is a child and she needs to experience this but she also knows what she can and cannot have. She’s not a big fan of veggies or fruits, so its hard. My other son, who is 13, does not have Type1. But he tries not to eat stuff infront of her. I let her have ice cream and a donut every now an then. She is not a big fan of birthday cake, praise the lord, but she does like to blow out the candles. We have alot of “Girls day outs”, where we go eat wherever she wants, and then its off to Wally World, (Walmart) where she can get her a toy.

    I will learn about the CGM when she gets it. I do not check her at night because she sleeps like a rock and its very hard to get her awake, especially to give her a shot. Tried it one time and she kept falling back asleep and she jumped when we gave her the shot, thinking she was awake. So dr. said not to do that again. Her pediatrician, in Albemarle, Said that Em’s endo is the best in NC. and we love her.

    When Emily was DX in May of 2010, her dad, in October2009, had fallen at work and broke his foot. I remember this well because we all went Trick ot treating with Barry, Angie, E and Parks. In Nov., the same year, my husband had a heart attack, the weekend after Em’s birthday in May, my brother in law feel off one of his trucks and broke his neck and had to be airlifted to Baptist Hospital. He wore a halo for over 4 months. So we have had our share of things to happen. My mother in law could have buried both her sons within a span of 6 months. But God has a plan so he spared them.

    I worry all the time about the future. Diabetes has come along way today and I’m positive that we will find a cure. Emily tells her classmates all about her dx so they can help her in school if something should happen. I am blessed that this happened when it did, at such an early age, and that we caught it before it got to a dangerous situation.

    I had thought about the Omnipod, but had a school teacher to tell me that hers kept coming loose and it stuck out too far and it wasn’t worth it.

    I think about diabetes everday but I dont let it consume my every thought. If it did I would be crazy. The only thing I think about these days is trying to get her “rat nest of hair” brushed out everyday. I told her that a rat comes in at night and teases her hair while she sleeps. haha.

    My son, Will, is 13, and i have been dealing with him having ADHD since 2nd grade. When he is not on his meds he drives me insane. He and Em argue all the time.

    It was great reading the blog. Have a great day and God Bless.

    Linda Lowry

    Reply
    • Linda, Just remember that you are not alone in this battle! If you need to vent, I’m there to listen! I’m amazed by how diabetes becomes part of our “normal”–we just deal with it! There are days when it’s in the background and days when it takes over! But I really try, like you do, to let my daughter be a “kid.”

      Reply
  2. Pingback: 2012 : Another Year Bites the Dust! « KC & Co.

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